Typewriters

     Back in September I remember telling a couple of young Americans, quickly in English, that I felt as though I had no personality when speaking French.  This made them both laugh, but I said it in all seriousness.  Now, in no way am I inferring that I am the life of the party in English, but expressing your opinions, thoughts, feelings during everyday conversations is the primary way of sharing a little bit of yourself with others and helping them know you better. It is also something that’s easy to take for granted when using our maternal language, but becomes the biggest challenge when conversing in a language in which we are not yet fluent.  And as for trying to have fun with a clever insight, or a tongue-in-cheek comment, well, as far as I’m concerned, best not attempted.  Barry came home from class quite early on in the term and gravely remarked that he decided that he wouldn’t even try to be funny in French.  As for me, the only laugh I got for weeks while speaking French in class was unintentional when I said that I thought mace was only legal in Canada when used in bear attacks.
     The first hurdle when entering any conversation is understanding what the other person is saying to you, not always an easy feat when listening in a second language. As with the kisses, Barry and I have developed different strategies when being spoken to in French and not having the foggiest clue the meaning.  Barry puts on a huge smile and nods repeatedly; I tend to stare intently and after a few blinks, look away.  Not such a pleasant visual, is it?  Luckily for all involved, this doesn’t happen to us as often as we are understanding more and are more likely to be able to pick out an expression or word used and ask what the meaning is.
     But hurdle two involves the dreaded reply, and this is when it gets really tricky. It can be a laborious undertaking as I am still at the level where I have to often take the time to mentally translate from English if more than a quick and straightforward reply is needed.  I've come to compare the process to having a typewriter in my brain on which I am pounding away at keys to formulate my response.  I have been picturing it as one of those real old models that requires a serious finger thrust for each letter and whose typebars get all tangled if you get carried away with your typing. This is how slow it sometimes feels to get a response out: formulating a sentence slowly, word per word.  And then, more often than not, I will get hung up on translating one word or phrase and have to resort to the equivalent of ripping out that figurative piece of paper I’m typing away on and starting again using more simple vocabulary or grammar in my reply.  You can imagine how this hampers the flow of a conversation! Of course, people are usually patient, but I do find it stifling to not have that ease of expression or to not communicate fluently in exactly the way I would like.
     Everyday continues to involve little misunderstandings and stunted conversations for both Barry and me. But on the positive side, we both feel that, although slow, progress is being made.  In fact, I think it’s time to upgrade that 1920’s model typewriter that I’ve imagined in my head for a fancy, electric model such as the one that I brought with me to university in the late 1980’s with the built in correction tape.  Hey, now there’s inspiration to keep at it!