Madame la Lectrice, Monsieur le Lecteur

In class we’ve been learning how to write a formal letter the French way.  The first thing that struck me was the length and formality of the closings.  There is quite an assortment of  expressions with which you can sign off with, depending on the position of the recipient.  For example, in closing a formal letter written to an elementary school teacher, it is suggested that you write the following:
“Je vous prie d’agréer, Monsieur/Madame, l’expression de ma considération distinguée.”
I have to admit that my jaw fell a bit on reading this thinking back to many of the more informal notes I have received as a teacher over the years.   Even the  English equivalents of “Sincerely” or “Respectfully Yours” seem quite casual in comparison .  In fact, I think if I ever received a letter signed off with “I pray that you accept, Madame, the expression of my highest consideration”,  I would be worried that it was an expression of sarcasm rather than respect,  and it would have me a little freaked out all day.

The second thing that I initially found surprising was that you never, ever, use the name of the person to whom you are addressing the formal letter.  “Monsieur  le Président”, “Madame la Directrice” or just plain old “Madame or Monsieur” will do, but never with a name tacked on.

Then I got to thinking that maybe I shouldn’t find this surprising at all given our own experiences and observations regarding the use of names in France.  For  instance, even with very casual e-mails we receive from French friends and acquaintances, “Bonjour” or another brief greeting is used, but rarely with our names beside it.  We’ve noticed this with verbal greetings also.  People are most friendly and will say hello or “faire des bisous”, but not use each other’s names.


This is very different from interactions in Canada where greetings, whether written or spoken, are usually always followed by the other person’s name, or sometimes consist of only the name.  In fact, in my opinion, culturally it’s seen as being more polite and personable to remember and greet someone using their name.  And of course, it’s important to know someone’s name in case you ever have to introduce him or her.  That’s the reason Barry thinks the french system takes so much pressure off: you really don’t have to remember names at all as a “Bonjour”, “Bon appétit”, or “Bon Soir” is all you need.

Anyway, back to class and the formal letter lesson.  The professor brought me out of my internal musings on cultural differences with the in-class assignment of writing a formal letter to a fictitious director of  the laundromat that has ruined a piece of your clothing.  Let me add here that it was a sunny, warm Friday afternoon and I was onto my 5th hour of french instruction.  I quickly decided that:  1) I wanted to know my French professor's opinion on my name thoughts; and 2)  I wanted to avoid writing that letter.   So I tried the ol’ “get the teacher talking and we don’t have to work” trick that even my Grade 5 students have down pat.

So, I commented on my perceived differences with respect to the use of names between France and Canada, and she confirmed that, indeed, the French don’t place such an emphasis on learning or using people's names.   She explained that she has been chatting,  even vacationing, with people for years without learning their names, and has never thought anything of it.   She told us that for French people to have someone, even very politely, ask them their names, wouldn’t necessarily be seen as rude, but definitely “bizarre”.  Also, to have someone use her name in a store, as in “Did you find everything you were looking for Madame ________” would just seem weird and even make her a bit uncomfortable, and that  introductions are breezed over quickly, if done at all.  She told us the story of her mother who, in order to do some business, was told she needed to visit a neighbouring bank branch and ask for a woman by the name of “Delphine”.  Her mother couldn’t do it, explaining she had “la honte de” (shame at) having to ask for a stranger by her first name and even our professor confessed it a little off-putting to have to help her Mom out in that regard!  She said they timidly approached one of the tellers and in almost a whisper asked if there was a “certain Delphine in the building”.

For me, it was a very interesting conversation and being the warm, intelligent and funny teacher she is, I really appreciated her sharing her french take on the issue.  So, goal #1 successfully accomplished.

Goal # 2, not so much.  She assigned the letter for homework.